Looking Across the Hall (A Graduation Speech of Sorts)

In third grade, my classroom was one of two at the end of a short hallway. Right across from it was the fourth grade classroom. When it came time for lunch or recess, my class would line up at the door. The fourth graders lined up at their door, too, and while we waited to go, we'd look across the hall at the 'big' fourth grade kids, look at them with a mixture of fascination and intimidation. We always wondered what it was like over there, being a big kid, across the hall.

Next thing we knew, we were the fourth graders. Instead of going to the left door, we went right, and there we were. When we lined up, the third graders were across the hall, lining up, too. And it was weird. Suddenly, I was the 'big kid', and the third graders were looking at us, just like we had done, in fascination and intimidation.
I'm not really quite sure what it was that third-grade me expected being a fourth grader would be like, but whatever it was, the reality of being the 'big kid' was not what I expected. In some ways it was better, in some ways it was harder.

From this, I learned something: the future -- looking across the hall -- is fascinating, intimidating, and not what I expect.

I've done this a lot -- looked across the hall, at moving - multiple times; looked at new schools; looked at homeschool -- always fascinated, always intimidated. Now, at graduation from homeschool high school, I'm looking again, looking across the hall at college, living on my own, pursuing a career, and, Lord willing, someday getting married and starting my own family. It's extremely fascinating. It's extremely intimidating.

But I don't have to be worried about it. I know this because I can also look back across the hall, at the past, and see how God worked in my life in ways I never expected. I never expected to live in Nebraska, Wyoming, or Ohio. I never expected to be homeschooled. I never expected being saved by Jesus Christ, and being given a new life. All of these changes, God gave me the strength and ability to walk across the hall, and enter those new classrooms. I never expected them, and had I had an idea, I may not even have wanted them, but I am extremely grateful to God, because they all changed my life and made me who I am today.

Knowing this, that however fascinating and intimidating the future may look, that God will work things out in unexpected ways, I have courage to make plans for my future. I know that, however big my plan may seem, God will work out something bigger. I know that my plan right now may not be what He has planned -- and I'm excited about that. I'm excited, for both the future I can see, and the one I can't see.

The future I see right now starts with enrolling in Massillon Baptist College's One-Year Bible Certificate Program. Before I set out on the rest of my college journey, I want a firm foundation to stand on. From there, I plan to go to Cedarville University and earn a Bachelor's in English. What I will do with my degree is still a little far in the distance. I know there are so many more paths than I can imagine that I can take with an English degree. God has given me a passion for reading and writing -- I will leave my future with my degree open for Him to use, according to His plan.

As fascinating, intimidating, and unexpected as the future across the hall is, I have to remember something else. It was only at recess and lunch that we lined up and looked across the hall. The rest of the day was spent in the classroom, reading, working, learning, and not giving the classroom across the hall a moment's thought. Life can't be spent staring across the hall -- it's meant to be lived in the classroom, in the present life that God has given. I look forward to someday having a job as an editor, or a teacher, but right now, I enjoy my job at the garden center. I look forward to going away to college and meeting new people, but right now, I enjoy my time with my family.

Please pray for me as I start this new part of my life. Pray that I will stay content with what God has given me now. Please pray that He will provide the funds for my college education, through scholarships, work, and family, so that I can avoid taking out any loans. Pray that I will gain a firm foundation from Massillon's program, and pray for guidance about choosing whether or not to go to Cedarville University, which is a Christian college, but not fundamental Baptist.

I'm looking forward to what fascinating, intimidating, unexpected things God has for me across the hall.

Thank you!